A Window into Postpartum Depression

After having a baby we all suffer from some degree of postpartum blah. Whether it looked like full on depression, depression and anxiety, anxiousness, an obsessive need to have your house clean, or the feeling of bliss; a baby changes everything. For me, it looked like on obsession with being a good mommy, a constant sadness, constant crying, constant cleaning, constant nervousness, and constant feeling of not being myself. Most women look at postpartum depression like a clinical diagnosis or the "baby blues." Ladies this is a real thing. As my baby is now 13 months old I am finally feeling back to my normal self, or whatever that may be. The balls are all juggled instead of dropping one everyday. I am not crying everyday, or every other day for that matter. I would say that Chris and I argue less and we have both transitioned into parenthood well.

This has been a HUGE transition. Chris and I MET in August of 2011. We began living together around January or February. We were pregnant in March or April of 2012. We had Clara in November of 2012 and were engaged in December of 2012. Now, November 2013 Clara is one and October of 2014 we will be married. Can you say HUGE milestones? Our relationship has finally hit a plateau that will only be here until we are married. Then we will have another transition.

Sooo... talk about POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION?!?!!! I barely met this guy. Most of my friends who have kids have been together for years and are having issues in the life of parenthood. We had been together for months before we conceived.

So, if you are feeling depressed, like your life is spiraling out of control, I have been there too. I walked that journey of being in the middle of the grocery store and bursting into tears for no reason at all. I have been nursing my baby with tears running down my face because I am not sure if its an amazing moment or a beautiful disaster. I have had my moments where my need to clean because for some reason it was going to define my ability to parent my child or function in the world around me. I even had secret moments in days where I was envisioning myself leaping from our fourth floor balcony. I thought about shaking my baby, I even envisioned it. But I never did because my love for her meant more than life to me.

These are real moments in my life. They might be crazy but they were definitely real. Finally I went to my GYN and told her about my issues and she agreed that I was definitely not the bubbly girl she new prior to pregnancy. Welbutrin XR later, I was perking up. But honestly, I think time and being surrounded by support was the biggest healer. More than that, God was the healer!

If you are in the trenches of PPD, know that it will get better! One day you will look back on it and realize you are looking back on it and not in it. You will breathe a sigh of relief and might even want another kid.

Molly

The Eyes and Ears are the Windows into the Soul?

   As a mother, I spend a lot of time wondering what exactly my little girl is taking in. Though she is only a baby, she is learning the beginnings of language that includes cursing, racial slurs, and prejudices. Who wants their child to learn these English words and phrases? Our world provides so much in the world of socialization and commercialism.

   So, how do we filter this? Growing up, my youth leader said that she was not going to shelter her daughters from the world. She further explanied that she planned to use the world as teaching moments. But, when I unexpectedly got pregnant, I suddenly couldn't talk about my daughter in front of her children because they didn't understand that a person could have a baby and not be married.  This experience REALLY created a reality check for me in how I wanted to parent my daughter.
#lunchdatecanceled

There are three approaches to parenting:

1- Shelter, Shelter, Shelter...

2- Let them be boss!

3- Teach them.

Well friends, we cant protect our children from the world but we can guide them. If we as adults want to teach them to love their neighbors or teach the tolerance we have to model these behaviors as their parents.

5 Best Kids Clothing Shops Near Raleigh

Best Second Hand Clothing Place to Shop ~ Name Brands, Barely Used!

1- Frog in My Pocket Consignment Sale: Frog in My Pocket has maternity clothes, toys, equipment, baby clothes and kids clothes. This sale is really awesome if you are looking for equipment! I got a stroller (that you mount your car seat on top of for $35 that retails at $70. It has great prices, it goes all weekend long, and Sunday is half priced all day! Also, new moms have early shopping times.
http://frogpocketkids.com/

2- Kids Exchange Consignment Sale is Black Friday For Mommies: It has everything you need or can imagine for kids! If you consign you get to shop early. Sundays are half priced. But keep in mind that mommies get competitive. Also, people come with self-made carts to rack up all of the things they will need until the next sale. There are things new with tags and gently used. This one had everything from couture to superstore brands.
http://kidsexchange.net/

3- Children's Orchard: This store is awesome for gently used clothes. I found a barely used flower girl dress with no stains and perfect beading. You can consign your kids' stuff for cash there. They only take stuff that is fairly recent style too so your child's clothes will be up to date!
http://www.childrensorchard.com/

4- Kid to Kid: This store is great for finding name brand clothing and gently used shoes. I found a pair of new-looking Sperry's for $8 dollars. They definitely have cute boy clothes there.
http://kidtokid.com/

5- Guardian Angel Thrift Store: I have found a great selection of baby clothes. They also typically have preemie sizes and a great selection of children's books. I also found a lot of my maternity clothes there with great prices! This is a hidden jewel for sure!
http://guardianangelthrift.org/

Places I don't recommend for kids clothing: Good Will and the thrift stores on 401 near the down town area. They take everything and a lot of the donations are more than gently used.

10 Best Inventions Known to Mommyhood

There are a few things that saved our anxiety levels and our budget so far that are all necessary to show.

1- The Angel Care Monitor: While it is expensive, we got ours hand me down and it tells us when she is breathing. Our baby was born totally healthy but there were times, like when she had RSV that we needed to hear the beeping to know she was ok in her crib alone.

2- Mommy Hook: This one was awesome because every time I need to carry groceries, clean out my car, or go pretty much anywhere I use it. It saves me from making more than one agonizing trip  when my little one needs to go down for a nap or is asleep.

3- Cloth Diapers: First, who needs bloomers when you have cloth diapers? Second, you  can get them second hand! I know that sounds weird but and you can always bleach and/or boil them. Plus, they have velcro or snaps. Third, you don't ever have to buy disposables so it helps out your budget tremendously! Lastly, you can get them in one size so they can grow with your baby!

4- A Carrier: Nix your Baby Bjorns ladies! When my little one was born I was far too overwhelmed to get to know my Moby wrap. Now that I understand it, I will forever use it on any future children. It is ultra supportive and she loved feeling that supportive hug like in the womb. Also, since she is more mobile and self supportive, we have moved up to an Ergo. These two carriers have been awesome to keep my hands free when she needs to be held and provide her with the necessary physical need while I am getting other things done (cleaning, shopping, etc.). 

5- Swaddling Blanket: We swaddled my little one until almost five months. It was the only way she would stay asleep for longer than an hour by herself in her crib. Also, when we swaddled and coslept she would not roll around in the bed. While she hated the swaddling process, she loved being in the swaddle.

6- Wubbanub: We don't go for long periods of time without this little guy. "Ralphie" the giraffe is a permanent part of my six month old's life. 

7- Receiving Blanket/Old Fashioned Cloth Diapers: This is simple but necessary. When Clara has exploded her diaper they are great to put her on to catch everything and keep the surface under it clean. There have been many times where we are at home and it happens. It is a quick catcher.

8- Johnson and Johnson's Bedtime Bath/Lotion: Every night, as part of her bedtime routine, she gets slathered with bedtime lotion. Not only is it soothing for her, it is soothing for me. 

9- Puj Baby foam bathtub: This given to us and was one of the best gifts ever. We used it until she was consistently sitting up and it fits perfectly in the bathroom sink and is supportive. 

10-White Noise Maker: This has been a God send. We live in a small apartment with thin walls and we can watch any movie without her waking up. Also it has become a sleep association so that she uses it at naps as well.

There we have it. My top ten list of things that made all the difference in our sanity for the first few months and beyond.