I feel like there is a "yes" culture moving in our society. People refuse to tell their kid no. They want their kid to always be on every team, never be bullied, and to always have shoes on to play. Infact, this culture would rather their kid be inside. I am tired of it. My kid will have pure pressure, she will not make a team at some point in her live, she will be barefoot, she will play outside and she will be told no. One day she will not get a job or not get a raise and never be told why.
Sometimes no has to mean no and she needs to trust that I am making the best decision for her. While we will not spank her for not listening she will definitely have consequences. I want her to understand that she has consequences to her actions. To have a person constantly cheerleading you on leads to an unrealistic view of the world. People in the adult world go to jail for not following the laws. People in the school aged world go to timeout or lose privileges at school for not listening. Little people in preschool can be kicked out for hitting and biting. These are all consequences of actions and she needs to learn happen.
While I am in no sense advocating for bullying and peer pressure, these things teach children about themselves. Also, they can be resources for a parent to teach their child how to let other people treat them. If you let a person treat you any kind of way, they will. If a child doesn't make the sports team, they will learn that it takes a certain level of esteem to get on the team and that if they apply themselves harder they will be able to get on that team next year. If they don't get the job they can learn what it takes to get it and try again. Being resilient is important.
So yes, my kid will hear the word no. She may not like it but it is what it is. She may not always get a dissertation on why the behavior is not ok. But she will learn to deal with it. My kid will be told no and she will learn to handle it.
